Do you know the way to San Jose? (Don’t say I don’t listen)

My first blog post got some immediate response and my email box filled up with suggestions. I do appreciate them and I read every one.

One thing I’m gonna do — and it was suggested to me a bunch — is take the time to visit Costa Rica before I decide to move. I hear ya. Me and my buddy at work, Chester, are coming down to check things out. Me & Chester go way back and I want an extra set of eyes on everything, in case I miss something. I talked him into coming by telling him about the dollar beer and the senoritas.

We have a plan to thwart any pickpockets while we’re there.  We’re going to carry each other’s wallet. That way, if one them gets stolen, they’ll have the wrong wallet!

Chester is no mental slouch, either. When he was in school, he wanted to see a movie real bad but he was told it was only for 17 and over. So he waited until the family reunion a few weeks later in order to get 18 people together to go see it. That’s some mighty fine thinking.

So here’s the deal: We’re gonna drive to Atlanta, which is 4 1/2 hours away (6, if Chester is driving), and fly down there just to see if it’s really like I been told. We’re gonna see with our own eyes and I’m gonna report what we find.  How does that sound?  Some people said I was rushing into this and really needed to visit before making a decision. OK, I hear you.

We’re going to an all-inclusive hotel on the beach. I can already see Costa Rica is confusing because when I told the travel agent I wanted to stay on the beach, she asked me “Which ocean?”  (Like there’s two of them in Costa Rica).  I told her I wanted to see the sun set on the ocean and I guess she figured it out. I love me a swim-up bar. That way I don’t have to get out of the pool to pee.

My next stop was the doctor to get my shots for the jungle, but the doc said I don’t need any additional shots. I have a hard time believing that. You know what I think? I think it’s my insurance company and they’re cutting down on shots, but I have no way of proving it.

So our travel agent set us up for a visit to some place called Jaco (they pronounce J’s like H’s. Don’t ask me how they pronounced H’s because I don’t have a clue). We’re going to fly into San Jose and spend the night at some fancy place nearby then get picked up the next morning for the trip to Haco. (Look, I’m spelling it like it sounds). She told me our driver speaks English, which I was insistent upon.

We’re booked at an all-inclusive hotel where we won’t have to mingle with anybody but Americans. We’ll be there for about a week and then we head back to a different airport for the flight home. (Who knew they had more than one airport in Costa Rica?)  But a week should should give me enough time to see if I really like Costa Rica, don’t you think?

We might even do some fishing on our trip. I’m anxious to see if they have anything as big as largemouth bass down there.

I’ll let you know how me and Chester are doing. They probably don’t have internet all over the jungle so I’ll check in when I’m able.  Right now I’m making a list of things to bring for our trip. Mosquito repellent is high on the list, as is my electric bug zapper. Speaking of bugs, I’m also bringing a big roll of duct tape. I’ll just roll it out upside down around the edges of the room and Bingo! Instant insect glue traps. I developed this technique after spending my life in the South where the bugs are a big as dinner plates.

You’re probably asking why I’m not too worried about bugs in Costa Rica. I figure they have more bugs, so that means half the bugs are busy try to eat the other half so they’ll leave me alone. As someone once said, “The secret to less bugs is more bugs.” Now that I think about it that may have been the NRA and it wasn’t about bugs at all.

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About billjoehunter

Born and raised in the USA. Searching for $1 beer in Costa Rica.
This entry was posted in Central America, Costa Rica, Humor, Travel and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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